Music can be extremely healing. It takes us back to a time when we felt something — happiness, sadness, gratefulness — whatever it is, when we hear it, we are transported back in time. Music allows us to access our deepest emotions, helping us discover, experience, and accept them fully. Music gives you an outlet to grieve when words are impossible at the moment. And it gives you a connection with others who may also be grieving. If you are grieving in Santa Clara and elsewhere, you may benefit from bereavement services as well as listening to music — both great ways to navigate the healing process.
Brain, Music, Grief: How Are They Connected?
Our brains have a pleasure center where feel-good neurotransmitters congregate and make us feel good when we engage in certain things. When faced with loss and grief, sometimes people turn to negative coping strategies to stimulate that pleasure center, like eating sugary foods, drinking alcohol, gambling, or engaging in retail therapy. But sometimes we turn to positive coping strategies, and it turns out, music is connected to that pleasure center of our brain.
It’s a wonderful coping tool because it doesn’t harm anybody. It just allows you to sit back and relax as you benefit from the release of those neurotransmitters without resorting to addictive or dangerous behaviors, such as drinking a bottle of wine, eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream, or flushing your savings down the drain at the local casino.
So we know that music gives us pleasure and improves our mood, but research actually shows us that certain types of music can even boost memory and concentration, according to What’s Your Grief?. Music can help you be more productive, make better decisions, work more efficiently, get an energy boost and reduce stress levels. One particular study revealed that after listening to happy music, participants who were shown a neutral face interpreted it as being happy, while those who listened to sad music interpreted it as being a sad face.
Music is vital both for emotional expression and for recalling memories, lessening the emotional pain experienced by the grief-stricken person, says Dannielle O’Keefe in Music For Grief. One study conducted on post-funeral “remembrance activities” found that listening to and playing music supported the bereaved person’s expression of grief, while powerfully promoting their connection with the deceased.
How Music Helps You Grieve
No two people grieve in the same way. But music is a universal connector of people, and for that reason, most people can relate to its healing powers. Grief is not pretty. It unleashes scary, uncontrollable, and unknown emotions, leaving you with a feeling of being out of control.
Music tethers us to a place of security. It allows us to tap into our deepest emotions, helping us discover those emotions, giving us a safe space from which to process our emotions and tame the overwhelming. Music is a tool to navigate grief, while we consciously influence, direct and channel raw emotions that we may not otherwise know what to do with. Using music to create your story, you can redefine your relationship with grief and even transform it into a thing of beauty.
Perhaps most notably in times of grief, music lets us remember, forging and solidifying the connection you had in life with your loved one. That part of you, that relationship, lives on forever in music. We can even use it to become stronger through our grief, even though at the beginning we may feel that healing is impossible.
Listening to music when grieving has many powerful benefits. Music helps us:
- Remember the good times, and the not so good times
- Discover hidden feelings
- Feel fully
- Say goodbye
- Direct and channel emotions
- Create a safe space for grief
- Connect body and mind
- Transform pain into beauty
- Connect with others in new ways
Music also offers a variety of health benefits, reducing stress, easing depression, and boosting the immune system. Who knew music could have such positive physical benefits? Whether you play your own music (compose, write, score, play), or you simply listen to the radio, you can reap the many healing rewards it offers.
Music also has the power to accompany you through grief as you face the myriad challenges after the death of a loved one. Music’s healing benefits go far beyond the immediate aftermath of the loss (i.e., funeral, etc.), accompanying you throughout all stages of grief — essentially keeping you company as you move through loss. Indeed, music gives us an escape when life’s challenges get too overwhelming and unbearable.
Contact Pathways Home Health and Hospice
We offer many forms of bereavement services here at Pathways. Maybe you would benefit from joining a support group, or perhaps you would feel more comfortable with one-on-one grief counseling. Whatever the case, we are here to ease your grief. Contact us today at 888-978-1306.
FAQs
Music can be extremely healing. It takes us back to a time when we felt something — happiness, sadness, gratefulness — whatever it is, when we hear it, we are transported back in time. Music allows us to access our deepest emotions, helping us discover, experience, and accept them fully.
How does music help with grief? ›
Music can help people cope with grief in a variety of ways. It can help create connection with a deceased loved one. It can help those grieving to explore spirituality (hope and meaning in life) and deal with challenging emotions.
What are the three C's of grief? ›
For those who are on this road called grief, there are some things we can begin doing to help ourselves. We can start practicing the 3 C's of Grief: Choose, Connect, and Communicate. Choose – we get to choose what is best for us.
Is there a 12-step program for grief? ›
The Emotions Anonymous 12-step recovery program is for people experiencing anxiety, grief, depression, anger, low self-esteem and other emotional difficulties.
How to help someone mourning? ›
The most important help you can offer is a willing ear. Allow the bereaved person to talk and express their grief in whatever way they need. This may include crying, angry outbursts, screaming, laughing, expressions of guilt or regret, or engaging in activities that reduce their stress, such as walking or gardening.
Why is music heals the grieving soul? ›
Music can feel like a companion during times of loss. It can help you to express the pain of grief, adapt to loss, manage thoughts and emotions, experience feelings of connection with the deceased, and feel a sense of 'normality' or relief.
How does music help cope with emotions? ›
Music and Mood
Listening to (or making) music increases blood flow to brain regions that generate and control emotions. The limbic system, which is involved in processing emotions and controlling memory, “lights” up when our ears perceive music.
What are the 5 stages of grief resolution? ›
The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. You might hear people say things like 'Oh I've moved on from denial and now I think I'm entering the angry stage'. But this isn't often the case.
What is the most intense type of grief? ›
This is known as complicated grief, sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life.
What are the 6 R's of grief? ›
significant loss. She called her model the "Six R's":
React: Recollect & Re-experience: Relinquish: Re-adjust: Reinvest: the loss: First, people must experience their loss and understand that it has happened.
The First Task is to accept the reality of the loss. Denial is commonly the first “side effect” of a death for the surviving family and friends. People often wonder how someone who was here yesterday can suddenly be gone forever.
How to do a grief ritual? ›
Create a work of art (painting, writing, music, crafting) in your loved one's memory. Prepare and eat a special meal in honor of your loved one. Meditate, pray, or read healing literature or a sacred text. Get a meaningful tattoo to help ritualize and process your grief.
Is there a grief scale? ›
In palliative care, family caregivers are often faced with experiences of grief in anticipation of the loss of a close person. An instrument designed to measure this form of grief is the Anticipatory Grief Scale, which includes 27 items and has been used in several studies in various contexts.
What is a beautiful grieving quote? ›
"If tears could build a stairway,and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again." "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow." "Grief is itself a medicine."
What should you not do when someone is grieving? ›
Your place is to console, not to judge. Acknowledge the person's loss and avoid saying things like “I'm glad it was you and not me.” Don't tell anyone what to do or to change his or her feelings. Don't ask anything of a bereaved person other then what you might be able to do to help.
What's a good quote to say when someone dies? ›
- “Sorrow is so easy to express and yet so hard to tell.” — ...
- “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.” — ...
- “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — ...
- “It is not length of life, but depth of life.” —
Processing Grief Through Listening
Often, we feel like we have to put on a brave face against grief, especially when other family members are grieving too. But a playlist of sad songs can help you release these bottled-up feelings. Engaging with music can also trigger dopamine responses, creating feelings of pleasure.
How does music help with sadness? ›
Kim Innes, professor of epidemiology at West Virginia University's School of Public Health, says that “Music seems to 'selectively activate' neurochemical systems and brain structures associated with positive mood, emotion regulation, attention, and memory in ways that promote beneficial changes."
What is the role of music in death? ›
Returning to the funeral homes in Harvey, LA, the importance of music in funerals is well recognized. It plays an integral role in the healing process, allowing mourners to express their emotions, remember their loved ones, and find comfort in their shared experiences.
Why is music so comforting? ›
Upbeat music can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. A slower tempo can quiet your mind and relax your muscles, making you feel soothed while releasing the stress of the day. Music is effective for relaxation and stress management. Research confirms these personal experiences with music.
