Life is subjective, we all know that. We share some things in common, maybe even a lot of things, but the truth is that every life is unique. We each have our own best and worst moments, if we could compare these experiences with one other, I’m certain they would look quite different. Yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that there may be some similarities too. As I could never truly claim to know your best moments, all I can do is share mine in the hope that you recognise the similarities between our lives, assuming there are some. That’s the point of today’s writing.
We All Had the Same Childhood
As much as it pains me to say this, memes are a form of art; an expression of human creativity. And when humanity expresses itself through art, it captures a piece of itself within its creations; memes not exempt. What I’m saying is that memes are a reflection of their creators. Memes capture a little piece of what it means to be human as they are created out of the human experience. And what this means is that sometimes memes show their viewers that the experience of life might not be as unique as once thought.
If you were to categorise all memes, there would be one category especially relevant to our topic of conversation: the category of memes that talk about shared human experiences. These memes are fun jokes that capture an experience from the creator’s childhood, and what’s so fantastic about this is not the memes themselves, but rather the thousands of people in the comments bonding over their shared experiences. Comments such as “I thought I was the only one” and “I swear we've all had the same childhood.” Real comments by the way.
As unique as we might feel, the reality is that we all live on the same planet and share a commonality: the experience of life. And anything we share we’re bound to have similar experiences of. These “we all had the same childhood memes” demonstrate this principle. We can bond over similar memories as there is a common humanity found in the sharing of unique but similar experiences; it reminds us that we’re much more similar to each other than it might feel at times. The fun thing about these memes is that the memories they unlock are often tucked away in our brains somewhat forgotten about but not entirely lost, patiently waiting for something to remind us of a time since passed. These memes spark our memory to draw out otherwise forgotten experiences. Someone who clearly remembers a childhood experience can create a meme about it, in doing so, they can spark the memory of other people with their creation, effectively taking the audience back in time.
I want to put to work similar principles in the coming writing.
Putting to Words That Which Is Unspoken
A good chunk of what I do here at InThirdPerson is translating my experiences into words. This is because frankly you can’t live my life, but you can read about it.
Everyone has experiences, yet I’m uncertain of how many people put those experiences to words. I’ve always been interested in analysing my experiences and trying to understand exactly what is happening and why. But I’ve come to learn that some people have little interest in why the world works, they’re just happy to live blissfully a part of it. And I really can’t shame people for being this way because I try it from time to time and I must admit it’s a great feeling to not have to know everything, to just enjoy the world for the experience itself. But that’s not my reality, because one of my best qualities is my curiosity and that’s most valuable to me; I wouldn’t trade it in. I happen to believe that knowledge is enjoyable (the word ‘philosophy’ actually translates to “love of wisdom” in ancient Greek) because once you understand how the world works, you can make it work for you; but that’s a different topic.
So, what I’m going to attempt to do is to capture the best moments of my life with my words. I’m doing this with the hope that should you have had similar experiences, because I feel that many people will have had similar experiences, you can then benefit from my need to analyse and understand everything. Sound good?
The Best Moment of My Life
Contrary to what the title says, my best moment is actually not a single moment, rather it’s a collection of unique moments united by a common feeling. The best moment of my life is whenever this feeling is present.
Experiences are fleeting, what do I mean by this? Well, it’s pretty difficult for any one experience to make you feel truly fulfilled in life. You may have a lot of fun or laugh your heart out, but at the end of the day if you’re not in a good place in life these experiences can only mend the pain for so long. I’ve had plenty of good times, but they’re just that, good times. Once they’re over they’re nothing but a memory.
To me, the best moment of my life has to be something bigger, something more than a novel experience or a frivolous adventure, though I do love a bit of both.
My best moments in life come as somewhat of a shock to me. What I mean by this is that they’re not planned; I’m not sure if you can plan a best moment. I never know whether a moment will be one of my best until it’s happening. Once again, it’s that familiar feeling that lets me know I’m living through one of my best.
See, I’ve always chased feeling complete. To me, feeling whole, as if you’ve got everything you could ever need and ever want, is the best feeling there is. The problem is that I most certainly don’t have everything that I could ever need and ever want, so how do I know about this feeling? Well, it sneaks up on me from time to time.
Life isn’t all fun, even those of us with everything they could ever want still have to live the crappy bits. I love cycling; I put a few thousand kilometres on my bike every year, but I would never pretend it doesn’t suck a lot of the time. My legs hurt, my nose is dribbling snot everywhere, I’m inhaling exhaust fumes, I’m partially sunburnt and if I fall off I might get run over by a car. Life isn’t all glamourous, even when we’re doing what we enjoy.
To have everything you need and everything you could ever want is truly a hike to the top of a very high mountain. And if it took this to be happy, I’d probably never make it, as I’d be too unsatisfied with life to bother. It’ll take my entire life to achieve this accomplishment. Yet, on occasion, I seem to find a content bliss with what I already have; a rare but notable experience.
You can’t enjoy every minute of your life in this world. I don’t care who you are, you’re having a bad day now and then and I won’t hear otherwise. It takes a lot of work to first build a good life and then secondly to maintain it. There will be the “on a boat with friends in Greece at sunset moments” but there will also be the “face in the sheets screaming moments” too. They’re both part of the human experience and I’m yet to see anyone escape this dichotomy.
For me, the best moments in life are when I’m putting in the work on a regular basis and then I sit down for a moment to enjoy the fruits of my labour. These respites from the daily grind seem to be a haven from the realities of life; a moment of stillness in the chaos. To go back a little, building a great life is a lifelong endeavour, an endless grind. And every busy bee needs a break from time to time. And I don’t mean a one-way ticket to Mykonos, though you could.
The never ending to-do list is truly never ending when you’re in the business of personal development. A human being is always an unfinished product. But hidden amongst the weeds there always seems to emerge a moment of stillness; a feeling that everything is perfect despite the reality of the obvious imperfections that surround.
How could one feel truly complete in such a messed up world? How could one feel complete when they have achieved so little of what they’re capable? How could one feel complete when they’re an endless project in and of themself? The only solution to these dilemmas is to do the work. Because it’s not finishing that creates lasting satisfaction, it’s knowing that you’re going in the right direction. There is a peace, a faith, in making the right choices, even if you haven’t reaped the rewards yet.
My best moments are not achieving something, or doing something fun, or indulging in hedonsim; my best moments are when I know I’ve done everything as well as I could have and I’m at peace with my place in this world. It comes around so rarely, but on occasion, an immense feeling of peace washes over me. I’m almost always with other people when it happens, for what it’s worth.
There is always something more to want, something else to do, somewhere new to go, or another person to love. But how often can you say I’m entirely happy with what I have in this moment? I rarely feel this level of complete, but when I do it’s the best moment of my life. It flickers in like a surprise, I’m too slow to notice it arrive as I’m already in the middle of the feeling by the time I acknowledge it, and just like that it goes again with the passing of time.
The best moments of my life are when I feel that I have everything I need right here right now. It’s not a feeling that I can intentionally craft, rather it comes as a byproduct of me living my life a certain way. If I’m heading in the right direction, making the effort and taking all the necessary steps, I’m rewarded with the feeling that everything is perfect, even though I know it’s not.
There is a weight that comes with having desires, because to want something implies you don’t have it and that can be a tough emotion to live with every day. But I propose a relief from the pain of this desire is not to forget about your dreams, but rather to do everything you can to work towards them. Because knowing you’ve done everything you can is a form of peace.
Life doesn’t stop and I find that hard to contend with from time to time. My life has slowly been picking up pace over the past few years and I’m still learning how to deal with this welcome change. Because it’s tiring to be in a phase of life where you’re constantly doing things but don’t feel like you’re getting back an equal return on your effort, I think that’s just what being in your early 20s feels like though. But I always find solace in the occasional feeling that I have everything I could ever want; a feeling that is so rare, yet so powerful.
If I’m lucky, I might get this feeling a few times a year. Less than 5 probably, but I can’t remember exactly.
To be entirely honest, if I could show you a highlight reel of my best moments, I’m not sure there would be much discernable correlation between them. They’re categorised by a feeling of wholeness, something you can’t see from the outside. Why certain events trigger this feeling I’m not entirely sure, I almost get the feeling that it’s like reaching the save point in a video game, as if I’ve completed a chapter of my life and this positive feeling is the reminder I get to let me know I’m on the right track, but I need more experience to come to a conclusion on that theory.
Either way, I have a suspicion that other people experience this feeling too, even if they don’t recognise it in the way I do. The best way I could describe it: it’s as if you feel entirely complete, as if you have everything you need to be happy in that moment; the only time I feel 100% happy. I wanted to put my experiences to words in the hope that maybe if you have also had this experience, you might now be able to recognise it after hearing my account. Alternatively, if you don’t feel that you’ve had this experience before, should it show up, you’ll now be familiar with it. I wanted to offer this information because this feeling is what makes my best moments, and if you can also benefit from it, I imagine the world to be a better place.
I’m curious. Have you ever experienced this feeling? And if not, what’s one of your best moments in life? Feel free to leave a comment wherever you’re reading this, or reach out to me personally if you can. I’d love to hear from you.
The truth is that life is challenging for everyone. For some more so than others, but none of us get out of this without difficult times. And no matter how hard you try, you’ll be very lucky to achieve everything you desire. So if you can, try to find solace in the knowing that you’re making the right choices. And if you know you aren’t, maybe now is the time. Don’t know the right choice to make? Well, make one and you’ll work it out pretty quick.
We only get so many best moments, the 0.1% of our lives is really just that. So next time one comes around, whatever it is, make sure you appreciate it.
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