You could be the worst person and they'd still have a nine night for you! It's an in-built thing.
Whether it's solemn or happy varies from family to family. I went to one recently that was a few friends and prayers at their house. At another, a lot of people might turn up for a party with lots of music.
The nine nights for my grandmothers were both in Jamaica. Both were different experiences as one was in the town and the other was in the countryside. The one in the countryside was very different to others I'd been to. Up until then, all the nine nights I'd attended were in community halls or homes in London. Going to one in rural Jamaica helped me see the links to the ancient traditions. I remember thinking: "Ah, that's why they do it that way."
Younger people do it differently
Traditionally, people would be people coming from various villages for the nine night, and there would be something called a 'set-up' which means people bring food and stay with the family. Where I live in London, you see that less because people haven't needed to travel so far, though it does still happen.
One old tradition was to move furniture around the room in order to confuse the spirit before it left, and people would change their clothes. More religious nine nights would have no music, but readings from the bible instead.
Nine night is different for people who've emigrated, and what they do is probably a bit different to how they do it on the island. I've noticed that younger people do it differently – they don't have those links to the rural traditions of their grandparents and great grandparents. It's more about the music for them.
My son associates a nine night with food! He knows it's for a death, but he doesn't know about the cultural heritage. It's a lot more watered down now – that's how it works as these things evolve over time.
We have grown up seeing that tradition, it's just a part of life.
You just know something will be going on for the nine night. So you'll just ask: "Where?"
In general, when parents speak to their kids they will tell them if they want a big nine night or not. It's such a part of our culture, you just know that the family will organise something for you after you die. As a community, it's one of the last things that's still going, that we still do as the Jamaican diaspora.
Some people will even have one for their parents when they die even if they say they don't want one. You could be the worst person and they'd still have a nine night for you! It's an in-built thing.
My wife's family come from Barbados, and it is not a tradition that they practice there. But where there is a mixture of Caribbean communities, the tradition has spread to communities from other islands as they see the Jamaican families doing it.
Nobody says: "Here's the book on nine night, this is what we do now, and now". We have grown up seeing that tradition, it's just a part of life. If you hear that somebody has died, somebody will ask: "What time and where is the nine night?" When I die, I'd hope my family and friends would say: "Let's have a nine night for him".
