The festive season is often described as the most wonderful time of the year. But for some of us, it can feel far from it. The cold, the dark, and not to mention the many family, financial, and social pressures—it’s no wonder this time of year is also known as breakup season. If you’re going through a breakup, or are worried that you’re headed in that direction, read on for our guide on how to handle everything breakup season could possibly throw at you.
When is breakup season?
You might be wondering: When do most couples break up? Or even, what month do most people break up? While there are some peak times for breakups, it should go without saying that couples break up throughout the year—if a relationship isn’t working, that should be communicated as soon as possible.
The truth is, there’s never a good time to break up with someone, and it will likely involve a difficult conversation whenever it happens. Dragging it out or stringing someone along can often make things worse in the long term and lead to resentment and bitterness.
Certain times of the year, however, can make it more difficult for couples who are already struggling. The first seasonal breakup peak—coined the “spring clean”—goes down in March. But the biggest love purge falls about two weeks before the winter holidays—hence the name ‘breakup season’.
So, why does breakup season happen?
It might seem like a social media fad, but it’s easy to see why breakup season is a thing. The holidays often require traveling and visiting family, and if you’re not into your partner, then you won’t want to share this with them. Breaking up also means one less gift to buy, which may sound harsh, but, in this economy, every penny counts.
The looming new year, of course, also makes people start thinking about what changes they’d like to make to their lifestyle, looking at things they could improve—and one of those could be a current relationship. Starting the year off fresh—without a stale relationship weighing them down—may be a likely scenario for many people. But as devastating as the timing and blow, it’s better to know sooner than later.
Dating apps typically report January as one of the months with the biggest spike for new members, with the first Sunday in January, aka “dating Sunday,” being one of the most active days of the year, driven by a mix of New Year’s resolutions and loneliness.
How to handle breakup season
If you find your relationship falling victim to breakup season, once you have significantly mourned (which is fine and healthy to do ) it may be worth taking a step back and examining the reasons you broke up.
t’s important to remember that most breakups are a long time coming: the flaws and faults in many people’s relationships exist long before the couple actually breaks up. The high-pressure nature of the holiday season may force these faults and flaws to the surface, causing more friction between couples and resulting in break ups. It may take a minute, but you’ll likely realize this after the initial shock, heartbreak, and disappointment.
While it may seem like a difficult time of year to break up with someone or be broken up with, try to see the positives. Being single in the new year gives you the opportunity to start the year afresh and focus your goals to align with exactly what you want to achieve. That may or may not involve dating or finding another relationship—after all, it’s best not to rush into anything.
The holiday period is also a busy one, which means you can keep yourself occupied and focused on other things by socializing and partaking in festive activities. You’ll likely be seeing family and friends who can support you and help get you through your break up.
Top breakup season tips
- Don’t avoid difficult conversations. If you’re in a relationship that you know isn’t working, it’s usually best to address it sooner rather than later.
- Approach with kindness. Sometimes breakups can get nasty. Try your best to make it a clean break, so that you both get out as unscathed as possible.
- Ignore the hype. Just because it’s breakup season, it doesn’t mean that if you have one disagreement with your partner you should automatically break up. Talk it out and try to work through it if you feel your relationship is worth saving. Remember it’s a challenging time of year, and if you survive it, pressure can make diamonds.
- Be positive. It can be difficult if you weren’t expecting a breakup, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Lean on the support system around you to help get you through.
- Seek professional help. There’s no shame in struggling. Winter is a difficult time of year even without a breakup, so once you add that into the mix, it can be very tricky to maintain good mental health. Research therapists or support groups if you find yourself unable to cope.
- Embrace the festive season. Everyone has been single for the holidays at some point. You can still be festive and enjoy yourself; it doesn’t depend on a partner—remember that. Fill your social calendar and make the most of the time off work.
- Don’t date for the sake of it. When you’re ready to get back in the saddle, make sure you’re examining the reasons you’re dating: What do you want out of it? If it’s to avoid being alone, it might be time to take a step back and recalibrate.
- Don’t text them. It can be tempting (especially after a few eggnogs) to reach out to your ex. If you need closure, think about what that might look like for you, rather than sending a clumsy drunken message.
- Volunteer. Giving back can make you feel good when you’ve been knocked down. As we’ve said, the holidays are a tough time, period, for many people, so why not take your pain and turn it into something productive?
- Exercise. It’s probably on your bingo card for the new year anyway, but exercise releases endorphins. Get those flowing and it will do you a world of good. You could also take up boxing classes to release any pent up rage.
- Forgive and forget. Another tricky one, but it is the time of year to start anew. You can only control your own actions, so try to let go of any negativity and look to the future with that mindset.
