Are you too quick to leave a relationship? | Relate (2024)

FAQs

How quick is too quick in a relationship? ›

A sure sign that a relationship is moving too quickly is if you have trouble making decisions without your partner early on. It's not uncommon for people to lose themselves in their relationship, and over time couples find themselves dressing, speaking and even acting in a similar manner.

You may have insecurities about long-term commitment - and find the idea difficult or scary. You may have grown up in an environment where you learnt about the more difficult side of commitment - witnessing your parent's divorce, for instance, or the breakdown of a family relationship.

Key Takeaway: One common mistake often derails promising relationships—rushing into them too quickly, such as by asking to move in together after only a few weeks. Gradually getting to know one another and letting the connection blossom organically can lead to more successful relationships.

Too Fast Too Soon Doesn't Mean What We Want It To

Moving too fast, too soon in a new relationship is a red flag warning of future abuse in the relationship. It is rather easy for people outside the relationship to see the problem.

The 3-month rule can be thought of as a rule, test, or even "probationary period" for dating that suggests waiting three months before deciding whether to commit to a person. And given all we know about the initial stages of dating, it's pretty solid advice.

Most of us know that one couple who rushed in and stayed together. But for the most part, moving too fast in a relationship and relying on sudden infatuation is an experience that ends as quickly as it began – and often with a bump.

Let your partner know that things are moving a little too quickly. Tell them how much time you need to spend on your own and how long you'd like to be dating before you jump into major decisions. Stay firm on your boundaries, and don't let your partner talk you into something you don't want to do.

Jumping into sharing the same living space before you truly get to know your partner can absolutely damage a budding relationship, cautions Feinberg. This circles back to her warning that it is crucial to know how you communicate strong emotions like hurt, anger or disappointment with each other when you have a fight.

Use “I” statements

Instead of saying things like, “You're moving too fast,” or “You're talking about the future too much,” try to avoid pointing fingers. “Say explicitly […] that you feel the relationship is moving too quickly,” Hassan says, “because someone else might have no problem with the pace they're setting.

You are spending too much time together

Even though you might feel as though you can't get enough of the person, you still need that time and space apart. One sign that your relationship is moving too quickly is if you've already settled into a pattern of seeing each other every other or every night.

Who falls in love faster? ›

Current scientific details support the idea that, in many cases, men may fall in love more quickly than women tend to do. A survey of more than 170 college students suggested that male respondents reported both feeling love and saying “I love you” at earlier stages in their relationships than females.

Moving too fast in a relationship can be a massive turn-off. No one likes to feel pressured or to feel trapped, right? Yet, many of us rush the relationships if we feel “the spark.”

If you plan multiple dates in the same week with one person, can't go long without texting or calling them, or just got out of another relationship, you could be moving too fast. "We should take our time to know a person and make sure they are who they appear to be," Sussman said.

As a rough rule, two months in should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject, Stott said. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.

“There is no absolute rule,” says Dr. Lauren Kerwin, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “[Falling in love] can happen instantaneously or take weeks, months, or years! It happens differently for everybody and takes different forms.”

Around 1-3 months is considered “normal” for most couples.

Many long-term couples made it official after a few months of casual dating. It's perfectly fine to pull the trigger earlier if you're both on board, though.