Missing someone hurts. The ache of yearning for another person can cause you to experience sadness, emptiness, despair, or a deep sense of absence, it sucks.
Most people understand that these feelings are normal following the loss of a loved one or when a close friend moves away. It can be a lot more confusing to feel this way when you find yourself longing for someone after ending your relationship with them.
Why would you still miss someone you don’t want to be with anymore? You might feel this way because of a sense of familiarity or nostalgia. Or you might miss certain things about the person. You might even miss the person you were in that relationship.
There are plenty of reasons and there is nothing wrong with you if you still miss someone when you know it was right to end the relationship. The key is acknowledging your feelings and the reasons behind them so you can slowly start fully letting them go.
At a Glance
If you still miss someone after a relationship has ended, it is crucial to recognize that these feelings are normal. While such emotions are complicated, remembering why the relationship didn’t work out in the first place may help you find ways to move on.There’s nothing wrong with missing someone you cared about, even if you don’t necessarily want them to be part of your life anymore. Instead of dwelling on the pain of missing them, it can be helpful to focus on feeling a sense of gratitude for the positive experiences you shared.
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What Missing Someone Feels Like
Missing someone often feels like a physical ache in your chest. You might feel sad or even angry. When you are missing them, it might seem like you’re not able to concentrate on anything else. You might find yourself thinking about the person all the time, and you might even feel desperate to talk to them or see them again.
You might find yourself shedding tears when you think about this person. Or you might be tempted to pick up the phone and call or text them. While these feelings can be confusing, it is important to remember that such emotions are not unusual or uncommon.
Missing someone might also cause:
- Changes in appetite
- Difficulty sleeping
- Feelings of isolation or loneliness
- Loss of interest in activities
- Physical ailments such as muscle tension or upset stomach
- Trouble concentrating
Learning how to manage the end of a relationship is considered a vital development task during late adolescence and early adulthood. At some point, most people experience either breaking up with someone or being broken up with. How these relationships end, research suggests, can impact future emotional health.
According to one study, understanding the reasons for the breakup was associated with better emotional outcomes and greater relationship competence. Such findings might indicate that even if you do miss the other person, it is essential to understand why you feel that way and why the relationship ended in the first place.
Sometimes these are temporary feelings that come and go or lessen as time goes on. In other cases, some of these feelings might be symptoms of depression. If you have been experiencing sadness, hopelessness, loss of interest, and a loss of pleasure that lasts longer than two weeks, it might be worth talking to a therapist or mental healthcare provider.
Recap
Missing someone hurts, both mentally and physically. It might even feel like you are missing a part of yourself.
Why Do I Still Miss Them?
Life is full of changes, including changes in relationships. It's natural to miss someone who is no longer part of your life.The person and relationship served a purpose in your life, so when things change, it's natural to miss what your life and routine were like when that person was part of it.
It's also possible you miss the idea of them or what they represented. The loss of a perceived future with someone can often be as painful as losing the person themself.
Relationships are a fundamental part of life, but that doesn't mean that they always work out. When these bonds are broken, you may experience painful feelings of longing. You might miss someone because:
- You wish they could be part of your life again
- They were once your best friend
- You shared many fond memories
- You still care about them
- You miss their company
That person was once an essential part of your life. Even though you no longer see them, it is perfectly normal to miss the good things that they brought to your life.
You may still find yourself looking back and thinking about them. And in retrospect, the good parts of the relationship might loom larger in your mind. The problems that caused you to end the relationship seem distant and less significant now that you are no longer faced with them each day.
Whether your relationship was a friendship or a romantic partnership, the loss of the connection can leave you feeling like there is an emptiness in your life. These emotions can be even more intense if the other person ended the relationship. In this case, you might also feel ashamed, hurt, or angry even though you still miss the other person.
But it is also essential to recognize that you can feel this way even if you were the one to initiate the goodbye. This doesn't mean that you regret ending things. Instead, it might simply mean that you miss the relationship's companionship and will eventually be ready to form new relationships with other people.
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How to Let Them Go
Ok, so you've processed your feelings of longing, and perhaps even some strong emotional regret, now what? Fortunately, there are ways to minimize the painful emotions of missing someone and get on with your life.
Give Yourself Time
If you still miss someone, remind yourself that you may need time. The longing you feel is likely to be more intense right after the relationship ends but will gradually wane as time goes on.
Remember to be kind to yourself. It's a natural reaction to miss someone, so try not to put added pressure on yourself to move on right away.
Find Social Support
Social support is essential for mental well-being. Spend time with friends and family. Talk about how you feel with trusted friends and family. This will help you feel less alone and more connected to others who understand what you are going through.
Find Time for Fun
Engage in activities that make you happy. Find new hobbies or activities that you enjoy. This provides a distraction from your emotions, but it can also help you focus on your own needs and interests.
Take Care of Yourself
Ensure that you're not neglecting your needs and well-being. Eat nutritious meals and spend some time each day being active. Try to get enough sleep. Do something nice for yourself, like getting a massage or going out for dinner with friends.
Try Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a practice that involves combining mindfulness and meditation to promote calmness, decrease negativity, and let go of painful thoughts. Rather than trying to avoid specific ideas, mindfulness meditation promotes accepting feelings without judgment.
Observing feelings without judgment can redirect your attention to the present moment without dwelling on the past, which helps decrease anxiety.
Make New Connections
One way to cope with the ache of missing someone is to make new connections with other people. You might try joining social groups in your area or try online dating. If you don't feel like you're ready to start dating again, spending time with friends and family can help fill the void you are experiencing.
Find Closure
Gaining a sense of closure after the end of a relationship might be helpful when you still miss someone. Some ways to find closure include getting rid of things that remind you of the relationship, removing them on all of your social media platforms, and accepting that the relationship wasn't right.
Gain Insight
Journaling about your feelings and experiences can be a helpful way to understand better what you are going through and why you feel the way you do. Try focusing on writing about what you have learned rather than ruminating on negative or painful thoughts. Gratitude journaling can be a helpful and effective strategy for improving your mental outlook.
Recap
Missing someone is a natural feeling that everyone has to go through. It is a feeling that can be hard to cope with, but there are ways to make it easier.
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