Funeral music is an important choice
The music chosen for a funeral can play a huge part in making the service personal to the deceased, their family and their friends. The music we listen to throughout our lives says a lot about who we are, reflecting our past, our passions and our personalities; the music chosen for our funerals should equally say something about who we were.
It's not that long ago that the only music played at a funeral would have been traditional hymns or organ music. Well-loved hymns still hold a place in many funeral services - 'The Lord is my shepherd', 'All things bright and beautiful' and 'Abide with me' are still popular choices. And classical favourites like Elgar's 'Nimrod', Schubert's 'Ave Maria' and Faure's 'Pie Jesu' can still be heard.
But increasingly, as social conventions surrounding funerals relax, modern funeral music is becoming a reflection of individual tastes. And, as an element of life celebration enters more funeral services, music that's seen as sombre and old-fashioned is being replaced by more uplifting, popular choices.
A 2019 funeral-music chart notes that traditional hymns aren't included in the top-ten funeral music selections for the first time in the chart's 17-year history. Instead, contemporary pop artist Ed Sheeran features alongside long-established performers like Eva Cassidy, Bette Midler and chart-topper Frank Sinatra.
Choosing funeral music
Choosing the music for someone else's funeral can be a challenge, especially if you've been left no instructions regarding the music to be played at the funeral you're arranging. In choosing, think carefully about the musical taste of the deceased. If possible, take a look at their CDs or playlists and see if anything stands out.
Did they have favourite songs that might be appropriate?
Are there certain songs that bring back memories for family and friends?
Ask friends and family what songs they think about in connection with the deceased.
Consider the tone of the service you want to have. With a 'celebration of life' service, for example, more upbeat choices make sense. It's also possible to choose different styles of music for different parts of the service.
Generally, you'll be choosing three pieces of music: A song to be played while the coffin enters the funeral venue; a song to be played or sung mid-way through the service; and a song to be played while mourners are leaving the funeral. A more reflective piece can help mourners focus on their memories of the deceased during the service, but a more uplifting song can help them leave feeling more uplifted and positive.
Be sure to have a proper listen if the songs you're choosing aren't familiar to you; song words can be surprisingly inappropriate for a funeral. Maybe even Google the lyrics just to be sure.
Surveys have shown that many people want to introduce an element of humour into their music choices - Queen's 'Another one bites the dust' and the Jam's 'Going underground' are surprisingly popular. But unless you're directly reflecting the personal taste of the deceased, it's worth considering the feelings of the people attending the funeral. Some may find darkly humorous choices in bad taste and they're probably best avoided unless they were specifically instructed.
Available music
The more personal your choice of funeral music is, the more of a challenge it might seem to be able to find it. But thanks to technology, making sure the right version of a favourite song is available on the day can be as straightforward as arranging a church organist; many funeral venues have access to huge digital music libraries.
Wesley Media provides music for funeral services at many UK crematoria.The company's websiteallows people to search for funeral venues near them that are using its music library and to search for specific music. Wesley provides music from a playlist of almost 600,000 songs and adds over 400 new tracks every week, from top 40 hits to classical pieces.
If you're in any doubt about the availability of the music you'd like for the funeral you're arranging, speak withyour local funeral director. They'll be able to tell you the options available at nearby venues.
