Songs For When You’re Missing and Grieving Someone | Eterneva (2024)

The time following the loss of a loved one sends us all through waves of unexpected emotions. We get angry, sad, hysterical, and we walk around feeling like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.

During these restless nights and grey days, our family and friends return to their normal lives. The sympathy texts, phone calls, and cards slow down, and we are left with a gaping hole in our hearts where our loved one once resided, and silence. Our lens to the world may be cloudy with what feels like a chance of never ending rain, but there is something that can provide clarity to our emotions and insight into what lays ahead: music.

How Music and Sad Songs Can Help You Grieve

Everyone’s grief looks different, no two days will be the same, and you have every right to feel exactly how you feel after a loved one passes. Emotions come and go and preferences on music or lack thereof will likely change as you move through the grieving process.

We asked 146 people about their experience listening to music while they grieve the loss of a loved one. While suggestions of music varied from reggae to smooth jazz and everything in between, there were also those who couldn’t bear to listen to music at all in the fear that it will trigger a breakdown they weren’t emotionally strong enough to handle.

The wide variety of responses shows that there is no one right song for grieving. Instead, there are different types of music that can help express emotions, distract from overwhelming grief, find connection, celebrate life, uncover motivation to carry on, and invite peace into life.

Here is the full Spotify playlist of everything we cover here, if you want to just dive on in!

1. Expressing emotions.

“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.”

― Victor Hugo, William Shakespeare

When someone you love passes away, you have the choice to sit with your emotions or avoid them completely. Some people choose to not listen to music because they don’t want to trigger memories that evoke painful feelings.

However, there are benefits to feeling emotions. While sobbing may not always sound appealing, it is something that helps you release tension in your body and begin the process of letting go.

According to Dr. Judith Orloff, after crying, our breathing, and heart rate decrease, and we enter into a calmer biological and emotional state. More interestingly, it was found that emotional tears shed hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones.

So good news is that crying can actually make you feel better. Knowing this, you may be more inclined to find the sad song or the song that triggers memories so that you can quite literally cry it out.

Try finding music that matches the emotions you’re feeling. If you’re sad, try crying to Candle in the Wind by Elton John or if you’re angry, play Break Stuff by Limp Bizket as you scream out the lyrics. Whatever you’re feeling, there will be music to help you process the emotions.

Songs to try listening to:

  • Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth - See You Again
  • James Taylor - Fire & Rain
  • Tracy Chapman - Fast Car
  • Maggie Rogers - Dog Years

How others have used music to help express their emotions:

  • “I need music. It fills the silence. There are certain songs that make me cry. But crying is therapy.”
  • “I love the fact that it doesn't matter what your feeling there's a song for that.”
  • “I listen to music to make me feel the pain, not to make me feel better, but for me, feeling helps. I need to get it out.”

2. Mindful distraction.

Imaging that today is the first day since your loved one passed that you climbed out of bed, showered, and got ready to take on the world. It’s the first day you feel strong enough to face life without your loved one, if only for a little bit. After all, you know your loved one would want you to be happy and carry on.

Regardless if you're on day one or one-thousand of your healing journey, music can be a great way to bring you back to yourself and the present. While music is certainly a tool to tap into our emotions, it can also be an excellent distraction. A song does not need to be sad for you to feel it. Upbeat music is for grievers too. Let the music course through you as you live in the moment.

Upbeat songs to listen to:

  • Bob Marley - Three Little Birds
  • Poolside - Esperar Pra Ver
  • Jack Johnson - Upside Down
  • Boombox - Showboat

How others have used music for distraction:

  • “Sometimes I just play my stereo at home and dance my ass off by myself. It's a welcome distraction.”
  • “I jump from country to 80s. It has helped big time. Put it on loud and let yourself get lost in it.”
  • “Believe it or not I’ve been listening to Reggae as its peppy and not sad...and I don’t have to worry about one of our songs coming on.”

3. Connection & celebrating life.

After a loved one passes, you will feel abandoned at times. When you’re alone in the car, cooking dinner at home, or tossing and turning in bed, music can be a refuge from the feeling of isolation.

If there’s no one else around to comfort you in the midst of the waves of emotions, music can also be a beautiful way to connect with your lost loved one.

Some of the people we surveyed made playlists of all of their loved one’s favorite songs to commemorate their life.

One woman said, “I made a playlist with songs that reminded me of him and I absolutely love it! It doesn’t make me sad, it makes me remember how great of a love story we had. I listen daily now!”

Here’s how others have used music to celebrate & connect to their loved ones:

  • “I listened to A Star is Born soundtrack, it helped me cry it out. To get in better spirits I switched to Grateful Dead. Music calms me, but for the first six months I couldn’t sing. Now I’m belting them out and smiling at the memory of my husband saying “ sing it baby “ I can’t sing to save my life, but he knew I loved it.”
  • “It takes me back to 'good feelings' times or helps me feel the pain so I can deal with my loss. Songs themselves can trigger good and bad times, express how I feel or help me feel my love one's presence even if it is from a past experience with them or something I learned from them. 'I Can Only Imagine' reminds me of my mom's beliefs and how wonderful it must be for her to meet her maker instead of suffering here on Earth.”
  • “I have a CD of songs she downloaded in my cd rotation in my car and I feel a spiritual closeness when i play it because it’s what she made and listened to.”
  • “I have playlists of songs he told me to listen to because they made him think of me. I can even hear him sing some of them to me.”
  • “Personally I have been listening to all my moms favorites which may be hard for some but is therapeutic to me. Lots of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Counting Crows. I really loved my moms taste in music.”

4. Motivation.

Going through the grieving process, there will be times where you know you need to move on and live life the way your loved ones would want you to. However, finding the motivation to do this can be daunting.

Try listening to songs that lift your spirits and have inspiring lyrics to help you reach your full potential.

Motivational songs to listen to:

  • Matisyahu - Sunshine
  • Can’t Hang - Bird River Grove
  • Kat Wright - The River
  • New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Here’s how others have used music for motivation:

  • “Makes me emotional but also help me get things done in our home."
  • “If it wasn't for music, I would still be under the covers.”

5. Peace

Anxiety and racing thoughts can quickly overwhelm anyone who loses a loved one. The regret of the past and worry of the future without them can become too much bear.

If you’re having a hard time sleeping and quieting your mind during your grieving process, or if music triggers too much pain for you to deal with on your own, playing peaceful sounds can help.

Try playing music without vocals, nature sounds, or guided meditations to help put your mind at peace.

Peaceful songs to listen to:

  • M83 - Midnight Souls Still Remain
  • Ludovico Einaudi - Nuvole bianche
  • Ceilidh - Suaimhneas
  • Zen Music Garden - Ascension

Here’s how others have used music for peace:.

  • “Look up the 9 solfeggios ... they have a tone just for grief ! You can have it playing in the background and receive the benefits!”
  • “Ludovico Einaudi really calmed me when I was grieving. It's beautiful and helps me relax even now many years after my grief.”

6. Silence

Everyone handles grief differently. If music is too painful for you to handle at this moment in your grieving process, know that is okay.

If this is the case for you, practicing mindfulness can help you bring your attention to the present moment and help you experience more of what life has to offer.

To practice mindfulness, inquire what each sense is experiencing in the moment.

  • What do you smell?
  • Are you holding tension anywhere in your body?
  • Can you feel the air moving in and out of your body?
  • What do you see around you?

Try to describe the items around you with their shape, color, and texture.

  • What do you hear?
  • What is the furthest sound you can hear?

Take the time to taste your coffee or tea as you sip it.

As time goes on and you feel ready, try introducing music back into your life.

Other Ways to Use Music for Grief

While listening to music in the comfort of our own homes, cars, and headphones can be a great way to help with the grieving process, there are other options to consider.

1. Live shows.

Going to a live show, feeling the bass pass through your body, singing along, and sharing the experience with a community of people can be extremely therapeutic when you’re experiencing a loss.

Invite a friend to see a show nearby with you or go to a local bar or restaurant that offers live music and get lost in the sound.

2. Playing an instrument.

If you’re looking for a new hobby to help fill space in your life, learning how to play an instrument can help challenge your mind and help you connect to others.

3. Traditional sad songs.

There are tons of playlists online specifically meant to make you cry your eyes out –– even if you haven’t lost someone close. These songs are proven to work, and can help make you feel better even just by recognizing the suck and the pain, and getting some of that emotion out.

Here are some of the most recommended sad songs for grief:

  • Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
  • Sarah Mclachlan - In The Arms of an Angel
  • The Beatles - Let It Be
  • Paul McCartney - Here Today
  • Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
  • Faith Hill - You’re Still Here
  • Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day
  • Puff Daddy ftr. Faith Evans - I’ll Be Missing You
  • Diamond Rio - One More Day
  • Rascal Flatts - Why
  • Kenny Chesney - Who You'd Be Today
  • Justin Moore - If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away
  • Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

Like Music, Grief is Universal

Grieving is never easy. A piece of us is ripped away, never to be fully returned. So as we begin to heal our broken heart, remember that there are others out there going through similar journeys, attempting to make sense of the insensible.

We have our words and music to help bond us in these tough times.

Now, we’d love to hear from you. Are there any songs that have helped you grieve? Please share your suggestions in the comments below so that others going through this process can share a part of your journey.

Songs For When You’re Missing and Grieving Someone | Eterneva (2024)


Songs For When You’re Missing and Grieving Someone | Eterneva? ›

I understand you may need your space right now. Please know that I'm always thinking of you. I love you, and I'm sending my condolences. I know I can't do anything to make you feel better, but please know I'm sharing in your grief.

What is the best song when you miss someone? ›

25 songs about missing someone you love
  1. Miss You Like Crazy – Natalie Cole. ...
  2. Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O'Connor. ...
  3. Ain't No Sunshine – Bill Withers. ...
  4. I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself – The White Stripes. ...
  5. Someone Like You – Adele. ...
  6. I Can Dream About You – Hall & Oates. ...
  7. Yesterday – The Beatles.

How to comfort someone who lost a loved one over a text paragraph? ›

I understand you may need your space right now. Please know that I'm always thinking of you. I love you, and I'm sending my condolences. I know I can't do anything to make you feel better, but please know I'm sharing in your grief.

What is the mental breakdown after death of loved one? ›

Profound emotional reactions may occur. These reactions include anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue, depression and thoughts of suicide. An obsession with the deceased is also a common reaction to death.

How to support someone who lost a loved one? ›

Grief - how to support the bereaved
  1. Contact the bereaved person as soon as possible after the death and attend the funeral or memorial service if you can.
  2. Allow the bereaved person to talk and express their grief in whatever way they need.
  3. Concentrate your efforts on listening carefully and with compassion.

When you miss someone who passed away, songs? ›

3. Traditional sad songs.
  • Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven.
  • Sarah Mclachlan - In The Arms of an Angel.
  • The Beatles - Let It Be.
  • Paul McCartney - Here Today.
  • Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On.
  • Faith Hill - You're Still Here.
  • Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day.
  • Puff Daddy ftr. Faith Evans - I'll Be Missing You.

What is a comforting song for someone who lost a loved one? ›

Heaven is a powerful song about losing someone. In this piano ballad, Beyoncé shares a story of losing someone too soon and letting go of her lost love.

What is a beautiful grieving quote? ›

"If tears could build a stairway,and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again." "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow." "Grief is itself a medicine."

What to send someone who is grieving? ›

Best Gifts For A Grieving Family
  • Sympathy Cards. When someone experiences a loss, sympathy cards are a classic gift to let them know they are on your mind. ...
  • Flowers. ...
  • Meals & Groceries. ...
  • Jewelry. ...
  • Photos & Paintings. ...
  • Sympathetic & Inspirational Books. ...
  • Helpful & Thoughtful Gifts. ...
  • Self Care Gifts.

How to comfort someone in pain over text? ›

Show Empathy: Start with a message like, "I wish I could take away your pain. I'm here for you." Ask About Their Needs: Ask if there's anything you can do to help, whether it's delivering groceries, picking up medicine, or simply offering a listening ear.

What are the three C's of grief? ›

Here is how you can use the 3Cs to heal:
  • Choose. It's common to feel obligated to attend some events, such as an Easter celebration or a family holiday dinner. ...
  • Connect. Since every individual has their way of dealing with grief, some people may isolate themselves from the world during such times. ...
  • Communicate.
Mar 3, 2023

What happens to your brain when a loved one dies? ›

Grief and loss affect the brain and body in many different ways. They can cause changes in memory, behavior, sleep, and body function, affecting the immune system as well as the heart. It can also lead to cognitive effects, such as brain fog.

What does the Bible say about grief? ›

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

What is the 7 days after death return? ›

The Return of the Dead

The Chinese believe the soul of the deceased returns to his or her home seven days after death. To ensure the soul finds its way, a red plaque bearing an inscription is placed outside the home.

What not to do when someone is grieving? ›

Things Not to Say to Someone in Grief:
  1. You'll get through it, be strong.
  2. He brought this on himself, it was his fault.
  3. She's in a better place.
  4. It's been a while, aren't you over her yet?
  5. He lived a long time, at least he didn't die young.
  6. God must have wanted her there because she was such a good person.
  7. You're young.
Dec 7, 2020

How long should it take to grieve over a death? ›

The length of time is different for each person. For most people their mourning period is a long process and it can take years. After about two years you are likely to know the places, events and occasions that trigger your emotions. As you start to know these, you will also learn what helps you to cope with them.

What to do when you extremely miss someone? ›

One way to cope with the ache of missing someone is to make new connections with other people. You might try joining social groups in your area or try online dating. If you don't feel like you're ready to start dating again, spending time with friends and family can help fill the void you are experiencing.

How do you express when you miss someone badly? ›

Express those feelings by sending them a quick, heartfelt message.
  1. “Missing you has made me realize how much you mean to me.”
  2. “You mean so much to me. Life is just more fun with you around!”
  3. “I've always appreciated how easily you understood me. It meant a lot to me, and I miss you more than ever now!”

How do you tell someone you miss them deeply? ›

Romantic “I Miss You” Synonyms
  1. My heart longs for you. ...
  2. I long to be with you. ...
  3. I can't stop thinking about you. ...
  4. I miss the way you make me feel. ...
  5. I feel like a part of me is missing when you aren't around. ...
  6. Your absence leaves a hole in my heart. ...
  7. I can't wait for the day when we're together again.

What is the best song to say "I love you"? ›

  • "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (1992) ...
  • "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green (1972) ...
  • "My Heart Will Go On" by Céline Dion (1997) ...
  • "Como fue" by Beny Moré (1968) ...
  • "I Just Called To Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder (1984) ...
  • “I Love You” by Faith Evans (2001) ...
  • “Reasons” by Earth, Wind & Fire (1975)
Apr 20, 2024

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